Moods 2

I don't really know what's happening to me, but the last 2 days I have been quite nervous :(. Since yesterday I have had arguments with 3 people. I am usually a calm person and I don't like conflicting with others, but in the last days I am like a dynamite - you just need to push me a little and I am blowing off.
I guess it's because of the work. Work is coming, results are not there. Our blog is not yet online. Same thing with the website. I don't see the results of my work. Maybe that's why this happens, but I don't really like this nervous state of mind. Hopefully today I will come out of it :)

If ...

IF …

… I had written this article yesterday, as I intended, I would have written totally different things than this..

I would have told you, that…

The last two days we were really chilling. We were preparing to leave Smolyan and nobody was in a hurry. We were packing up, we had a conference call with Sri Sri (very enjoyable, btw.). Aw, and we received a letter from the Smolyan municipality expressing their gratitude for our service work over there :)))))
We left Smolyan early in the morning on Saturday. I was sad about it. I’ve spent 1 month there. I got accustomed to the city, the mountains, the people, our daily routine, everything. I dind’t really want to leave Smolyan. Even the hotel owner had tears in her eyes and said she will miss us, even though we had some quarrels with her!

I think, that if I would have written this article a day ago, the mood would have been more minor, because of us leaving Smolyan.

BUT …

… everything changes. Moods change like weather in the mountain, maybe even faster.
Yesterday I was so tired, that I couldn’t really keep my eyes open, let alone write. I guess that even the same things I would have written in a different way.

We had a 6 hour trip to the seaside. During this time we weer singing, chatting and eating junk food (one of the first times I am having it in a month). I even slept on the bus stairs, cause my dear friend Santa from Latvia fell asleep on both mine and her seat and I didn’t want to wake up :D :D.

Once we arrived at our hotel in Sarafovo (Burgas), we were in the sea, playing like small kids :D I even tried to teach two of the girls from our group how to swim, but with no visible success.
Then we went on a small trip to Nesebar – a world heritage city near Bourgas.
Although I was tired, I had the greatest night ever! While most of the others went dancing, a group of four people including me went to the beach for stargazing. The experience was amazing, I cannot find the proper words to describe it. Actually I slept there under the stars (first time for this year).. and in the morning, I woke up just before the down, ran a little, then did a wonderful set of asanas, kriya and meditation. One of the best experience from Yes! We Can so far!


SO …

…there is no “if” :) It just does not exist. The article that was I my mind yesterday is already gone. It just does not exist. There is only now. Just one moment and then NOW is gone. And right now I am happy with where I am and what I do, that’s the only thing that matters ;)

Gratefulness

While we were recording our songs at the theater I was nervous..
nervous, cause I was afraid I could screw up...
nervous, cause we didn’t have enough time to practice together…
nervous, cause it was my first time doing this…

Do you know how I came out of this? I started being grateful… grateful for being part of the whole thing, grateful that those guys chose me... This helped me a lot. I just switched my mind from the fear, that I am not good enough to the gratefulness for the opportunity to perform. Otherwise I would have been stuck and I would have probably screwed up :)

In our daily life we are usually not aware of this, but it is very important to be grateful. Our mind usually gets stuck with what we don’t have and chews it on and on, and on, until we get depressed. We simply forget what we have by repeating many times that we don’t have something else... And in most cases the things that we have are far more than the things, that we don’t. For instance, we may have a wonderful family, great friends, but no girlfriend or boyfriend/not enough money/etc. and therefore we are having a ‘loooong face’ every day.

So if you get depressed or unhappy with yourself at some point, here is a technique you can use. Sit down and think of all the positive things, that you have. At first it may be a little bit hard, because we tend to forget, but be persistent. Just go through everything you can think of. You may even consider writing those things down. Write down even things that may sound silly at first. Write down even small things (be grateful to the woman that gave you a smile on the bus or in the shop!). Even if there is only one thing on your list (however, I am quite sure there will be a lot more than that!!!), just stick to it! Be grateful! Remember the list every time you start drifting away. :)

And if you start doubting yourself, like I did (why did they choose me? Am I good enough for this?), just shift your question a little – wow, they chose me! Wow, I am doing this, although I am a beginner! I am so grateful for it! :)))))

I am grateful for being here;
I am grateful for having the opportunity to spend time with all of these positive and creative young people;
I am grateful for the wonderful friends and family that I have;
I am grateful for the life I live;
I am grateful.

music!

Oh my God :))))

Today we recorded 7 songs. Believe it or not, we recorded OUR OWN songs.. In a hall in the local theater.. and I am singing on two of those songs. Well, ok, not exactly singing, it's more like rapping, but the song is not really rap.. the initial idea was for a rap song, but it became something else.. you will hear it sooner or later, when you buy our CD :P Can you guys believe it? :)

Since we are in Smolyan, the music team has been very productive - for 3 weeks the guys have written 7 songs and there are 3-4, which are not yet complete. The ones responsible for that are Karolina from Lithuania (vocals) and Zlatko from Croatia (guitar and vocals). Zlatko wrote all the music, Karolina - most of the texts. Other participants in the musical group are Gordana from Croatia and Martyna from Poland (both are singing), and of course the 'djembe' section, including my roommate Alen (Croatia) and me. Other people contributed with texts, like for instance July from Taiwan, who wrote a wonderful song in English with a chinese chorus :)

I cannot describe how happy I am about all of this. I am also grateful for being part of the whole thing. One month ago I couldn't imagine that I will be on some record, cause I never played some instrument. And now ... Now I want to have my own band when I come back to Sofia :)

P.S. Tomorrow I will upload photos from the recording session ;)

Have a nice evening,
Milen

Mission accomplished

We cleaned the lakes, we cleaned a path near a river and a road, leading out of Smolyan. And all this - in a day, and it was planned that it would take us 2 days to do it :) Some dudes helped us - two americans from the 'peace core', some locals and some people from the red cross. The experience was amazing, it felt really good to do something for the nature :)

You can see some photos from the event here (click on a photo to enlarge):

Tales from the ... lakes :)

Today we are going to the lakes. Not the 1000 lakes of Finland, but the 2 lakes of Smolyan. We are going to clean up a little bit there. We are also preparing brand new warning signs for the forest area (I am currently editing the text). Basically it's about 'don't litter' and 'don't start a fire' signs.
So next two days are dedicated to nature and the nights - to our projects :) Voila! ;)

Back on line :)

Hey there :) in the recent days we were in isolation. For almost 2 days there was no net at the hotel. Besides, my laptop's HDD got fried.

Well, isolation is over and my laptop is good to go, so I am gonna be writing more often (hopefully). These are our last days in Smolyan and we've got a lot of work to do.

So see ya :)