Do you know what the expressions "to hit the wall" means? This is the moment, when you just can't do any more. The term is mostly used in sports (I know it from some movie, actually). It can refer to either a physical or a phsychological condition.
I started climbing. First - the ladder. It felt so unreal - was it me climbing there? Was I the one, who started climbing thаt rock? I felt as if I was just a viewer of some movie, where the main character has to climb a huge rock. Of course, he was tied to a rope and the character wasn't gonna die if he fell, but still there was the thrill of hitting yourself in the rock.. especially in the first meters, when one must climb vertically. Then came one horisontal part of the track. After that - again vertically, but this time - a much easier part.
My hands started sweating. I had to press my carabiner and switch it to the next rope. At first I thought I couldn't do it. I was about to let go, I thought. Well, that happens in life, doesn't it (to me especially - quite often)? Besides, other people failed before me. Did I just hit the wall? My wall?.. but no, not this time. It was time for a change. I pressed the carabiner really hard, ignored the sweating of the hands, switched to the horizontal rope, then shifted also the second carabiner. One small 'leap of faith' and then two steps horizontally. I was on the track! And I didn't fell :) My hands were a little bit tired after the first part, but there was no way back.
I heard the people down there roaring. They were encouraging someone else from our group. I was in some kind of dream.. a lucid one - leaping carefully from stone to stone and from one metal bar to another. It felt good. Every cell of your body - activated. Every move - balanced. More conscious than ever and still - most of the moves - unconscious. So hard to explain.
There were several other difficult parts of the track, but there was no way back. So it's a must - do or hang on the metal rope until someone comes from down there to save you. And you are maybe 20 away from the ground.. Thank you, but NO! :)
So, I did it to the end. I am proud of it, cause I've never climbed before. It was not hard for my body, it was hard for the mind to believe that it is possible. As one of the instructors there explained - 'it's a software thing'. And it really is. In life, I usually give up at the first obstacle or somewhere around it. I have never been a fighter, but I want to become one. And I will, hopefully ;) That's why I am here :)
P.S. This happened at the Uhlovitsa cave near Smolyan. The cave is gorgeous btw.